Wright Brothers, Borough Market

11 Stoney Street, London SE1 9ED

Silly boys and girls pretending to be restaurateurs.  The waitress tried taking our order three times when it was bloody obvious we weren’t ready.  Yes, I know it’s a slow afternoon and you’re trying to distract yourself from the three pissed suits who have been here since 11 o’clock but we’d like to take our time.

That’s fine, now when we need you, you’ve fucked off.  To the kitchen with your arms round the chef.  But no more.  The chef has broken off the embrace and gone outside for a pint.  How marvellous.

Price list on the wall: 6 x Wild Colchester oysters at 9.30 and 6 x Maldon oysters @ 11.70.  Lovely, but what do I see (after I’ve ordered) on the blackboard that you have cunningly hidden from view of most of your customers?  Cheaper oysters.  You thieving scumbags.

The tightness continues.  Offered little bread even though we could see the loaves coming out of the oven.

We ask for water.  It comes with no ice or lemon. But we do get an added extra – it’s plonked down on the bar, without the waiter looking, narrowly missing a butter dish which could have resulted in the water pissing all over me.  Easy mistake, as you are so busy.  Not.

There’s a very short simple wine list, although why put sur lie in quotes?  Perhaps because you don’t know what it means?

Ring me when you’ve learnt about restaurants.  Until then, I’ll look elsewhere in Borough for some wine and oysters.

Pizzeria Pappagone

131 Stroud Green Road, London N4 3PX

www.pizzeria-pappagone

The dog’s bollocks.  Run by Italians.  Proper pizza oven in full view of the restaurant.  They spin the dough in front of you and the pizza spend little time in the oven, given its heat.  Good range, cheap cheap cheap, and they serve Senora Moretti’s finest lager.  They have some weird ice cream, made of milk not cream, that taste phenomenal.  Eat here.  Eat pizza here.  Eat lots of pizza here.

Hotel Bahia, Vigo, Spain

Hotel Bahia could win an award – for best use of Photoshop on a hotel website. It looks like a hotel surrounded by grounds on the web. In reality, it’s like Reno meets a knocking shop.

Inside, it resembles an old hotel, dark wood, leather sofas and a creaky lift. The hotel has had a facelift, partly successful, although it is mostly cosmetic. So, the room doors have been painted with numbers using a font from the original series of Battlestar Galactica. The phones have LCD displays instead of push buttons. The beds are low with modern bedding.

Still, you can’t fault it. The hotel is right on the harbour and close to all the life in Vigo. It’s a good price. The rooms are clean. The hotel breakfast is excellent value with loads of fresh fruit, pastries and juice.

We stayed on the ninth floor with views overlooking the harbour and I recommend it. Looking out at the harbour is a great way to start the morning.

Vinotales, Vigo

Plaza de Constitución 14, 36202 Vigo, Spain

Nice bar in the Plaza de Constitución. They’ve gathered up loads of crappy furniture from junk shops and shoved it outside with a few barrels. It works very well. Some good wines by the glass and some great pintxos served with them. The toilets are some of the finest in Spain.

They’ve got free wifi – name is Vinotales and the password is vinot

Salamanca train station

Free wifi at Café y Té in the station
Password is 0123456789

Sal y Brasa

A Coruña (address to follow)

The golden rule of restaurants is: if it doesn’t smell right, walk out. It didn’t but we didn’t. The girl who took our order (she was about 14) had four jobs to perform: give us our menus, give us time to read the menus, bring some wine and bring some water. She screwed all four up. She brought one menu between us, asked for the order within a minute, brought the wrong wine, and brought still water instead of fizzy.

As well as pissing us off, she clearly had pissed off the kitchen and other waiting staff as well. She was being pushy with everyone despite a general level of incompetence. The fundamentals were all wrong. So, much running about but bringing the wrong food to the tables, Collecting food from the pass before it had been garnished. After further incompetence, the owner (possibly her mother) had a word. After a bit of adolescent crying, she was back to her usual pushy self.

The staff had had enough by this point and decided to take their own action. One was despatched with a hot bowl of soup and backed into her in a confined space. Covered in scalding stuff, revenge had been exacted.

Cabaret aside, our waiter was helpful. Confused by his question:”do you wanna hand?” we asked where he’d learnt English. 31 years in London came the reply.

Despite all the drama and the North London diaspora, Sal y Brasa is a good spot. The Padrón peppers were excellent, sardines well cooked and the sauce for the clams was about the best I’ve tasted. They also had a fine tarta de Santiago without the usual cross on top. About the best atheist tart I’ve tasted in a long time.

Atasa car hire, A Coruña

Watch the Atasa website if you’re hiring a car for pick up at the A Coruña RENFE. It’s easy to enter the wrong pick up location on the website. We meant to pick up from A Coruña and ordered a car from Ferrol instead. With luck, and the help of the awfully nice staff at Hotel Eurostars, we were able to switch.

Hotel Eurostars, A Coruña, Spain

Very quiet hotel slightly away from the hussle of A Coruña. It’s a good spot for running and for great views of the sea although a bit of a schlep into the old town. There’s no bar, sort of. The bar consists of a sofa and a small one metre wide serving area in reception. It’s a bit tragic and we didn’t
see anyone drinking in it in the four days we were there.

There are reviews of the restaurant on the web – including the hotel’s own description of it – being award winning. Don’t believe it: dinner on arrival was woeful and breakfast was adequate at best. There are plenty of places to have dinner (unless as we did, you have just got off a train at 10pm and can’t face going into town) and there are far better breakfasts to be had in the few bars five minutes walk away (like A Chispa).

The staff are very helpful. A problem with our safe nor working was resolved quickly without fuss. A bigger problem where we managed to order a hire car from the wrong Altas office was fixed by reception. Laundry was delivered back when they said it would be.

The wifi is free and really quick.

It’s a good hotel if you don’t mind being a little away from town and avoid the food.

Finisterre / Fisterra

Busy spot, very touristy and full of pilgrims who have gone off piste on the camino (for ‘pilgrims’ read ‘hippies’). They really are hippies – Fisterra is clearly not on the camino so the dirt on their eyes has got them lost.

There’s a lighthouse and some nice bits of sea. It’s a bit of a kip really and not worth the drive. Near the lighthouse is a wonderful display of tut for sale: seashells, jewelled elephants etc.

Cariña

Small town that is part of a larger municipality with, confusingly, the same name. It bigs itself up a bit on their own website (link here). Nothing much to write home about although they are home to an Estrella Galicia distribution depot (picture here) so quite a lot to write home about indeed.